Disappointing Sister

So, as I am fighting through a divorce that has been nothing short of a nightmare, I have tried with everything in me to end it. I have offered on four separate occassions all types of settlements in the hopes that we would avoid the inevitable court battle. Everyone says that every divorce is ugly, but I am trying to avoid that. I don't want to let a couple of wolves off their leash to tear apart the mother of my children. I may not love her anymore, but I would seriosuly have to question my humanity if I was willing so easily to let that happen.

Now, to backtrack, I should say its not that this humanity hasn't come at a price. My adversary does not share my view on trying to be civil. Its been pretty ugly, and the collateral damage that has resulted is, in my opinion, catastrophic. My children do not live together anymore, leaving me with 3 days out of 14 that allow me time with my daughter. My son's disdain for his mother is stronger than any anger or hatred I've ever felt toward her. Our families will not even look at each other, and have on several occassions, locked up on their own. And she and I have thrown hand grenade sized barbs at each other. I will chalk the first few months up to anger, but now there is no reason for it. I decided to try another approach and be very cordial and civil. It hasn't worked either.

So three nights ago, I swallow my heart and approach her with what will be my final offer. Simply put, I offer a sum of money plus child support plus rent and security for a new place, if she'll walk away from the family home that we can't sell. With what has happened to the banking industy in the last several weeks, and the real estate market being crippled, there is no way this house will sell for anything other than a substanial loss. My offer was to avoid all of that, by keeping the house, living in it, and protecting BOTH of us from a debt overhead of fifty to eighty thousand dollars. She seemed amiable to it, but said that she needed to think about it. I told her to take her time, but that if she was not going to agree, I would understand. But I don't. She left and then the real nerves set in.

I spoke to my parents, to countless friends, and even co-workers to see if I could have been perceived as being manipulative or sly in my offer. Everyone, and I mean everyone, said that it seemed like it was fair and just. Still, I tried to discount part of that, because there could be an obvious swaying of opinion, since most of these people don't like my ex. My mind said that it was right. Worse still, what I also kept in mind was if I was talking to people, so would she. The difference being that she has a couple of people in her corner that refuse to see the forest for the trees. One, in particular is her sister. She's been an angry and jealous person for a long time. She even went as far as to come on to me and proposition me. Can you imagine? And now, its her turn to fire back. She has bankrolled this fight on their side, and expects a return on her investment. And that return is revenge. What does it really get? Wow, at the end of this, we are still just divorced. Nothing more. We both will have debt, mine might be higher, but I have more potential. So, what, your goal was to watch this explode, but didn't care if it hurt the person you are supposed to be supporting? If she talks to other people, stronger people, I knew that she would hear from them better advice. I just had to play the game and wait and hope she chose the right influeneces.

Well, the waiting game ended at 1AM last night, she said No.